Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I Was a Green Screen Demon

Me admiring a portrait of my unrequited love.


Who says sorcery and gynecology don’t mix? In the bizarre world of The Immoral Dr. Dicqer, they do….and bawdy repartee and anthropomorphic madness ensue... 

The crew looks like any other crew: jeans and t-shirts, boom mikes and cameras, tats and stubble. But everything else looks like a surreal acid trip. My scene partner’s eyes pierce out from white feathers; his beak could poke my eye out. The leading lady has the face of a seal pup. I sport a wig that says “Kabuki Elvis”…and huge Donnie Darko bunny ears sprout from my head. Scant, odd furniture and props sit about—all surrounded by a bright green cloth that covers the walls and floor like the Grinch threw up everywhere. 

It’s day two of shooting on the set of the strangest sci-fi/fantasy project I’ve been lucky enough to partake in. Half of everything in the film is painstakingly crafted after the fact by hand, so while shooting, we actors are miming objects and imagining our surroundings are something other than mass quantities of baby puke green. It’s a terrifically fun challenge, because no matter what you imagine, it ends up looking different on screen and you say to yourself: “Oh, that’s what I was seeing!”

In this twisted tale of one possible future in a parallel universe, I play Chauncey Esunertus, the Baron of Ten Hells Island: a rabbit-eared sorcerer who seeks revenge on the pirate-turned-gynecologist who has stolen my “lady love”. She (the seal-pupped one) has already borne a child who wears a gas mask and—even odder—bears a noticeable resemblance to no one.  I’ve enlisted Aggie (the bird man) to aid in my revenge…though he may have his own agenda. Throw in busy-body ladies who act like the mob, a nurse with ninja tendencies, a machine that’s a two way portal to other dimensions…and I’ve barely begun to scratch the surface. Yes: it’s just another day in suburbia.  

Not exactly “Two and a Half Men”. But actually, I imagine Charlie Sheen would fit in, somehow. And who knows? Considering the magnitude of my character’s powers, it could happen. In fact…anything could…and anything might.   

Watch and see…

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